so the taco bell application my room starts calling

[noelleno]

Ehh, so that's a no on a classy 20-hour paying student writing job. Which...kind of figures? It seemed too good to be true. I'm sure I've sabotaged myself somehow. The whole "your samples were strong and we'll keep your file on record just in case" thing isn't something new, but doesn't really promote much confidence.

Yeah, I'm bummed. Who wouldn't be? But I'm not so out of touch that I'm utterly crushed and think this is the end of the world. Not very many people got a hold of that offer anyway, and I was selected to even inquire in the first place. That's something. It's not money, but it's something.

I'm very aware of how hard it is for everyone. I know how incredibly fortunate I am to have parents who are able and willing to support me while I try to sort shit out. I know there's really no shame in having to stay here, despite being already 23, because there are so many people who do, too. Or would if they could. I know my parents aren't mad at me; my dad has said that he likes having his girls at home (on the phone to someone else, not to me to console me, so that actually...makes it more consoling).

It's just frustrating, is all. Sou never responded to me about the CPA thing or future work for her company. Which is probably my fault since I let things go silent for so long. Maybe it's what sabotages my chances. Maybe people call her and ask and she says "Oh, well she didn't email me back for a long time so..."

Hm. I dunno. That's just speculation, and I can't really do anything to change it if it's true, can I? You just keep going and do better next time around.

Kai got me a great chance, so I'm not going to waste it. It's not going to make much difference for my wallet right now, but it has implications for the future that are invaluable. If I do well. So I'll just do well and hope that my effort is enough to hack it.

In the meantime, I'll reopen commissions, contact the people who inquired about it all those months ago and see if it's still feasible to do something for them. And if any of y'all would want to give it a swing, well. I'm right here.


Ssso...Very literal and figurative roadblocks today. Literal, because there's some garbage going on down on Will-Carelton that impeded my quest for Panera, so I just gave up. I'll eat something else eventually, I guess. Cereal. Or something. I gotta make up for the junk I had earlier.

I think I'll just clean or something for a little while. It might motivate me to do something else than sulk. Sulking's understandable, but I really don't feel like compounding my reasons for being unhappy by indulging it too much. Put myself to some use.