noelleno | trevis is a problem (Reply)

For those new enough to not be acquainted with this guy, this is Trevis. He's an asshole. He's a hater. He's overeager to excel at both. He's also a problem for me because he poses two different opportunities as far as story goes. He can be either the sweetest redemption I have or the most bitter failure.

Any desire to do anything good or meaningful with his life died in the manmade fire that killed his wife, and all he's done since then is scratch and scrape his way to finding the people behind it to murder the shit out of them. He has absolutely no goals other than that, and since it's taken so long to get closure already, he's given up thinking about what he'd do when he got what he wanted. He makes himself believe he'd be perfectly okay to drop dead the second it was done, but I'm not so sure he believes it. As much as he believes that he's going to hell for what he's done and going to do, I don't think he's as eager to own up to his deeds as he is to do them.

He's presented with several chances to stop, and some of them are very tempting, but he doesn't take them. He's very convinced that the only thing he can do now is search and destroy, very convinced that's all he deserves. He's digging himself a hole deeper and deeper and hissing up at the light at his back. He could climb out any time he wanted to, but I don't think he wants it enough to change the course of his life. It's too difficult to change that much and he's too much of a coward to face a world without that purpose.

I think he's even aware of how much it probably would hurt Elena to be witness to the things he does and will do, but it's not stopping him. He's decided it's too late, and he'll just keep doing what he's doing until his breath stops and he has to pay the price.

At the same time, I think he could be increasingly desperate for that way out, but it'd have to come from outside him. Something with a stronger will than his would have to shake him down and forcibly pry him away from these things and turn him around. It'd have to be something really big and something that can take a lot of damage from a bitter, spiteful, and violent lashing out. Something or someone, I suppose. I still haven't decided whether he gets that opportunity or not. Not everyone is presented with those kinds of chances and actually takes them.

He might just keep digging his hole until he dies in it, alone and unhappy.