devoid of pictures

[noelleno]

The priest I confessed to yesterday talked about the function of love and humans and how we're never truly at our happiest unless that love of ours is doing something for others. He asked me to spend some time reflecting on who I am to myself and to others, and to find out what kind of person I want to be.

He asked me if other people said I was a good person. I told him people tell me I have to stop beating myself up because I'm apparently better than I think.

If I think about it, the person I want to be isn't very famous as a worker or an artist, but would be famous for just being pleasant to be around. I've heard rumors and things now and then about how I'm intimidating to approach? I really wish it wasn't so. I'm flaky at times, but I've never wanted to scare anybody off before. Well, not anymore; high school dramarama years are so over.

If I'm going to be known, I'd want to be known for just being good. Not the best, but good. Someone people can go to and they know I'm not putting up a front; nobody has to worry about me seeming fake. I just want to be genuinely good to people, because nothing of value is gained from being awful to anyone. It's harder with personalities I don't mesh with, but I don't want to be combative or disdainful just because things don't click.

I can't be friends with everybody, but I'd at least like to be the kind of friend that people value and love because I love and value them.

I need to find the balance there, too, with how much I care. I can't keep getting myself sick every other night with worry and fear for people; it does nothing good for anyone. Nobody wants to know that they're the reason someone's suffering, even if that suffering is out of love, right? So I need to be a good person who is strong enough to care.

Mm.

Soyeah. Talking about it is easy, doing it is something else. But it's not like flipping a light switch, I suppose; you just gotta try. So I'll try harder and harder and hope that good is what I become and what I'm known for.

Comments

[dreadable.livejournal.com]

i believe in you

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

*puts on best cape

[ruffwriter.livejournal.com]

I believe you already are that person, babe. ♥

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

It's still a work in progress, but I'm glad you think so ♥

[xlovelylightx.livejournal.com]

If I'm going to be known, I'd want to be known for just being good. Not the best, but good.

That's a good aim to have, if more people aimed to be good first and best second, the world would be a better place.

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I can't really blame a lot of people considering how it's mashed into our heads that we're only really happy if we have/are the best at something/everything, but yeah
I'm done deluding myself in that sense

[murasakidoku.livejournal.com]

I don't know about you, but I'm okay with not being famous for any reason.

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

HAHA it'd be a bit less stressful I'd think

[lynstraine.livejournal.com]

i think you are good, ellelelele<3

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Ty bb ♥

[puffin-essence.livejournal.com]

I dunno you THAT well, but I do know you indirectly introduced me to my husband so... yeah. I wub you and stuff and you've always been a good person to me. <3

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I DID?

[stutterbird.livejournal.com]

you are one of the most genuinely nice people i know bb

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

So are you darling no matter what ♥

[nodoff.livejournal.com]

If it counts for anything I think you're a good person too

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I appreciate that gurl; I sometimes got the impression that I rubbed you the wrong way at times :(

[carnality.livejournal.com]

I need to find the balance there, too, with how much I care. I can't keep getting myself sick every other night with worry and fear for people; it does nothing good for anyone.

I think this is exactly what I have to remember a lot too. All this stuff is easier said than done, which sucks, and it's a long progress of learning people's comfort levels and how those match your own and recognizing the difference between what lengths you SHOULD go to for people rather than the lengths you may want to go for them (being one may be less healthy than the other, even if it is-- as you said-- out of love). Blah blah blah, basically, I think it's pretty strong of you to recognize this stuff and that you're looking for a way to approach it and better yourself. Not a lot of people would do that, especially because habit can be comfortable, even if it's miserable sometimes. ): You can do it. ♥

/talks forever

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Norrtalking is delicious and I do enjoy ♥
Thank you for this

[tsunderes.livejournal.com]

I know we've sort of just met in the relative scheme of things, but for what it's worth, I think you are a fabulous person.

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I'm honored; you're someone I enjoy fangossiping/etc with a lot yanno.

[pridefall.livejournal.com]

You are a good person, ellebelly <3

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Ty waifu

[annalol.livejournal.com]

i'd want to be one of those shut-in famous people but i would want to be known for being a good person too... i think being famous sounds fun now but if i somehow became famous i am sure i'd scream. IF ANYTHING i want to be famous for a work or an idea....anyways uyeah

i try to be a good person too. but it seems the more i try the more i notice and probably exaggerate my faults. idk if you do that BUT if you do, i know it can be a pain in the ass : [

but at least you are really honestly trying and i think that's what counts

!! hi i'mtired

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I feel this
Fame is kind of nice to think about but idk SO MANY PEOPLE WATCHING SO MANY EXPECTATIONS PRESSURES ETC...

you are the best bird

[okura-chan.livejournal.com]

I think you're great. :)

But good luck. I know you can do it~~

'cause you know, even if you beat yourself up, they will always be someone (especially here) to tell you that you're awesome and loved. ♥

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Thank you bb

[aymiah]

how are you intimidating this is beyond me

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

IDK I'VE HEARD THIS AT WORK AND FROM PEOPLE ON THE LJ