builtrepeatrelax

I've been walking around all day with that sticky-eyelid prelude-to-illness feeling, and I'd love to do nothing more than freebase vitamin C to prevent it if this wasn't my longass schoolday. One more class. Mildly freaked out about walking to my car! Warm weather = more muggers?? I don't know. Maybe I should, like, check my school's security page for the volunteers who walk you wherever you need to go. I'm such a tool, but at least I won't be the tool potentially attacked? Whatevs.

rawowner333 I bet you're reading this entry at some point today and let me just say THIS LUNCHROOM IS RONERY. But idk what you've been up to and my phone has no reception in here so OH WELL.

Uhh. Stuff. I don't know. It's always a little strange when people compliment my OCs or ideas; it's not something I can talk about in person, face-to-face, because I get frazzled and mumbly and start to downtalk it without realizing it. But it's just amazing to me that my stupid ideas seem significant to someone other than myself? Especially when I've been told "lol girl nobody cares about your ideas at your age" several times before. 8|a

But it does mean a lot to me, even if I just keysmash or say something stupid about it. I'm just not great at accepting praise?


Buh.


Friendships were discussed in gencomm today. We did an activity and had to list 10 close friends? And I...could barely crack 8? Not without rethinking what it meant to be a "close" friend. And after we discussed the variances on it for people it was easier, but it did make me realize how my friendships work between friends irl, online, and between genders for both. And that maybe I'm just not good at the styles of friendships as most people relate to. Female-wise, at least.

I'm not very good at long talks or deep conversation or being able to come up with something insightful to say. At least, I don't think so. And when someone gives me that kind of support, I don't know how to take it well? "Thank you" never seems enough, because it really isn't.

And even if I don't converse much...it doesn't make time spent around/with/doing something with someone any less valuable. The doing aspect of a friendship can be just as important as the saying. It's a more masculine approach, stereotypically, but everybody does it. I just hope I don't come across as too cold sometimes.


So tell me about what's been going on with you guys. I know I don't comment around as much as I ought to, but if there's something you wanna talk about? Bam. I'll try. I may not have great insight, but I do have funny icons?


I need to stop being so scared of the dark outside. Either that, or I need to make friends here. What the hale.

*slowly becomes diseased

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