this has nothing to do with comic books or memes oh my goodness

[noelleno]

Man.

Looking back on Elfwood is a sad, sad thing. The rehaul is just not eyecatching at all. And I'm a fan of moss green and everything. Too much open space. Not enough coherency. But I guess it doesn't matter. This place is pretty much gasping for life at the back of the internet.

I remember how I felt when my (ridiculously in-depth, SAT-esque, elitist) application was processed and accepted, back in middle school. I remember running out of the computer room to my Mom and telling her that I got into some amazingly awesome art site and that I was a member and bleeblooblah. It was thrilling. I made so many wonderful friends there--some I still keep in contact with even now, others long gone or off the radar. It was really stimulating, and I was constantly drawing because of it. Art trades and whatnot.

Getting two front page features made me feel so important, wank that happened because of it aside. I wasn't very good at all (in retrospect, I was hideous and generic), but the fact that I was noticed meant a lot. It still does. I did something hundreds of people saw. It felt good.

The same goes for Sheezy. Man. When I got that two-month long artist feature, I was giddy. Just. Giddy. I was all over the place, talking to everything and everyone, buzzing around people's pages like crazy. Made lots of acquaintences, did lots of community activities...

It's not something I do anymore. School, life, laziness in general. But man. I miss it. A lot. I feel like I should be trying that again, now that I have a new account over at Dev. But that place has always felt so isolating to me. It's a "You must be [this] talented or submit [this] many pieces of fanart to be acknowledged" thing, compared to the others. And as much as I've tried to get past it, that lack of attention's always hampered my confidence. I have to try and keep things in perspective (considering the pace at which things are submitted, the demographics viewing at any given time...), but it gets discouraging nonetheless. Deviant-fame does not denote future success, but dammit if I don't feel like a loser treading water anyway.

Makes all the praise I've gotten in college very confusing to me. I never know who to believe and how much to believe. Should I seriously accept it when a department teacher tells me I have the best drawing ability in the program? What does that say about me? What does that say about the program? Because I know I'm not the best. I'm good, but I'm not the best.

I guess the point of that is...How loud should I toot my own horn?

Comments

[nuclearpez.livejournal.com]

I used to be really sad when Deviantart wouldn't give any of my images or what have you the time of day. I mean I know I'm not the best, but I would be angered when I'd see pieces of art getting credit that weren't that great, and were on a skill level far below mine and others that were far better than me didn't get the credit they deserved... I've never been on those other sites so I honestly wouldn't know but I don't even have the time to update DA anymore anyway...

But really I get enough of that self-esteem boost irl that I try not to worry myself as much anymore. I mean I think it's fair to take those compliments. Being the best in a program is a great start and it isn't a world, so it says much for your immediate environment and a great platform to begin on in self-esteem or otherwise.

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I can totally relate to that frustration. The sheer pace at which things zip through that front page is insane, and it seems like your best bet is just to have a huge network of people moving through your gallery via moving through theirs.

[ormery.livejournal.com]

dA is a lose/lose situation anyway – in my personal experience, having a fuckton of pageviews leaves me paranoid that the awesome people who I pay attention to are only paying attention to me back because my pageview count impresses them, and I panic about how much I don't deserve it because it's mostly due to fanart anyway so it doesn't actually mean that I am any good. Even getting on the front page with stuff that's not fanart isn't that reassuring, because ... well, look at dA's front page, seriously.

The college praise is probably better to go on (and personal opinion from over here is that you're awesome), but idk, man, when it comes down to it it's heftily subjective and popularity and success don't automatically go hand in hand with quality and skill anyway SO ... *useless flail*

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Well, I watch you not just because of the fanart (but I do so enjoy your Blue Beetles and kitties!). You have a style that uses line in such a wonderful way. Everything looks so active when you draw them, especially the sketchies. I like those best. So. ♥

[landcow.livejournal.com]

I remember lurking Elfwood back in the day! *checks the website :o*

whoa

holy

wow

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Yeeeahhh

[bangflip.livejournal.com]

college > internet? ): i always take whatever people on the internet say with a grain of salt but if my teacher says "this is really good" i'll be more excited over that than "ohmygod eryn you write so amazingly well~!!!" i love both compliments but when it's a teacher who goes through the same assignments/classes a billion times and they say that your work is good or great or wonderful or amazing or THAT YOU HAVE THE BEST DRAWING ABILITY IN THE PROGRAM...well, then, that's pretty great and it means you're a lot better than you think you are. if you weren't good, you wouldn't stand out, you know? you would be "good work elle" rather than "best in the fucking program elle."

also my mommy said i could go to the movies with you! C:

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I'm just trying to figure out where the balance is. Because teacher opinions are great, but those are individuals. And the internet has a wider demographic and consists of the consumers, and I would hope I could somehow make a living doing this in some way, so I feel like I have to be a little sensitive to it. At the same time I'm just too stubborn to cut into this animu stuff that I'm like. Stuck. Lol.

FUCK YEAH >:o

[dreadable.livejournal.com]

lol... sheezy.

well, with what you said about praise is, accept it. you are a good artist, however, no matter how skilled or talented you are, there is always room for improvement. so be nice and believe what people say without ever letting it get to your head. DUH.

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

It was my most favorite place until layouts started getting freakish and confusing. :(

*does this*

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. After working my ass off on something, I kind of get frustrated at the lack of acknowledgement. But them's the breaks, I guess.

[jupiterk.livejournal.com]

Even if you're not the best ever, you should still know that you're better then a lot of the other fuckers out there. Just go out there and slap your art down and show them your in town.

(Btw, ever consider getting a booth at an artists alley in a convention? People really pay attention to those.)

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I have issues with artist's alleys at conventions. I don't think it's ethical to be making a profit from licensed characters royalty-free. It feels like cheating. It's something I'd like to do if I didn't feel so bad about it, though.

[pridefall.livejournal.com]

fFFF. Deviantart is more for people who know they're talented to get asspats and make connections in the world of art/animation, and even then it's a 1 in 100 chance that you get anywhere with it. If you want critque and people who really, well, KNOW SHIT ABOUT ART AND WILL HELP YOU OUT, then there's this place called Conceptart.org that's just tops. It's where most of the popular people I watch on dA (gunnerommantic, jennadelle, etc) went once they reached the age that they didn't need da anymore, I think.

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I do have an account for CA.orgv somewhere around here, and I do remember looking for critique there a couple years ago. I think I'm overdue.

[expletives]

There's a mentality on the internet, not just DA, that fanart is... Not better than original stuff, but let's face it, if somebody knows a character, they're much more likely to care.

As far as tooting you own horn, Elle, there's nothing wrong with self advertisment. You've got to put yourself out there if you're going to get any business. The art industry is a lot like the redlight district. A teacher told me a while ago that there are three things an artist can be: Fast, Good, or Cheap. There's only two of those that they will be. Doesn't that sound like a hooker? I think it does.

... What was I talking about?

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can't really blame people for reacting more to a Batman piece than some nameless character. Unless there's a huge gap of skill. Then it's just silly.

LMFAO WOW I am

a hooker.

[hymenchan.livejournal.com]

Why not post it here? We'd praise the living crap out of you.

But I think that deviant art =/= professional opinion. I think that while there's always room for improvement, what your professors tell you should be taken at face value. Even if you won't believe you're the best because of your own, personal, subjective opinion (just like that of your professor's is subjective), at least acknowledge that you're in the top. You know?

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I do slide some stuff and sketches on here, for sure. But I'm like in three or four communities and if I post at all of them simultaneously I feel like such a freakin' attention whore. Which I am. So why is this an issue lol.

I don't know if I can do that. Because I'm not tops. At least, compared to the work I've seen from peers and strangers on the internet? But then again. A lot of them are older, more experienced, blabla. So. Yeah. Fft.

[teufelsblumen.livejournal.com]

It's really hard to say whose opinion counts more. People on the internet generally see a larger pool of artwork than your college professor does (unless he, too, happens to browse), but of course your professor is educated and all that rot. The conclusion I came to, pessimistically, is that no one knows a damn thing about art, internet peon or college professor alike. In any case, what you should do is take compliments from whoever they come from with gratitude. It means that your art has appealed to someone, no matter who it is, and that's what the important thing is, right? It's not being the best, right?

About your art, you need to find the balance between humbleness and egotism. No one likes it when someone can't take a compliment with pride, nor do they like it when someone thinks they're the big cheese. Promote yourself, in whatever way you feel is necessary, insofar as it doesn't make you seem like a self-absorbed douche. Have some balls, but do keep them in your pants, in other words. ;)

Now, my opinion. I would, in fact, like to see you take a larger part in the art community again, though I can't blame you for your interest having waned. The art community in general tends to be a retarded thing. About your art, you're talented, and I love to see all the interesting expressions and (sometimes) dynamic poses you can give your characters. Why the "sometimes," though? Because I feel as if you've tripped into some kind of rut a lot of the time. You need to apply yourself a bit more, because I know you're better than this. I also get the impression from looking at your coloring that you really don't actually enjoy the coloring phase... work on that. It's hard to get excited about something an artist has done when you feel as if they weren't excited, themselves.

So that's my bluntness. I hope I haven't crushed your soul. u_u Ilu.

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

People are always yelling at me when I start pointing out the flaws in my stuff a;klfds I can't help it. :| Things in my head aren't tranlsating visually well enough I guess.

*acquires balls. stuffs in pants. difficulty crossing legs.*

I really DO want to start poking Sheez' and Dev' more. I feel really guilty for not commenting on a lot of people's stuff--you and Jojo especially. I guess I just don't want to turn into one of those people that does nothing but say "oh good job" or "cool" and all those aggravating things. I'll try harder.

Coloring's actually not a pain anymore, but I guess if it looks like I don't have fun, then I should do something different I guess.

Your bluntness always punches holes into the canvas of ingorance and lets DA TRUTH shine in. ♥

[clones.livejournal.com]

I've never really been any good at art, but I agree with what everyone else is saying. College > DA/internet. I'd love to see some of your artwork; is there anywhere I should go to find that?

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

God I'm like a dirtstain on the internet I'm everywhere. Here's the good stuff (http://elledraws.deviantart.com), here's the quantity (http://elle.sheezyart.com), and here's the doodles and lj dumps (http://noelleno.livejournal.com/tag/art).

[stutterbird.livejournal.com]

8| no matter what anybody says, elleberry will always be special to madeline. ♥

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

*complete*

[fightfair.livejournal.com]

Oh man, Elfwood was so long ago, wasn't it, Elle. >: BACK WHEN WE FIRST MET, and were still CIVIL TOWARDS EACH OTHER. ♥ (Speaking of which, I finally picked up your letter from home over spring break, and will be replying shortly.)

But it's true - the designs for Elfwood get uglier and uglier each time I see it, and I only go once in a blue moon anyway. Was that your first community art site too? To be honest, I remember thinking I was pretty hot shit back in the day too, fff. I guess it's the first taste of "e-fame."

After that, life jades us, and we realize how much we're NOT that hot shit. >: I know what you mean by missing that sense of wonder, but I feel like it's part of growing up too. Don't worry, Elle. Being acknowledged on the internet is great, but being acknowledged where you are is just as good too. Rather, take it as it comes? The fact that anyone appreciates your stuff is a good thing. You are talented.

Don't fool yourself otherwise.

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Man remember those days. Art trades all the time and everyone made color-coded comment replies and it was just. Very middle/high school wasn't it. Sigh. Big kids. :(

[thanatoast.livejournal.com]

Dude, I don't use deviantart for anything other than just... really just browsing. I never upload anything there. But you know, I don't care about pageviews and stuff. Idk. It's just balls. But you are talented and as long as SOMEONE is acknowledging that, be they online or IRL, you're good.

AND I ACKNOWLEDGE YOU

/acknowledges

such a funny word

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Until I can get myself a domain, I'm trying to use it as a resource for clients to sample work. And stalking artists. CoughRafaelAlbuquerquecough.

THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING ME I am always so hungry for it.

[trexaur.livejournal.com]

PRETTY FUCKING LOUD and dont apologize for it

who cares if youre not the best bitch youre amazing and thats all that matters

say youre the best itll feel good do it.

[trexaur.livejournal.com]

youre the

[trexaur.livejournal.com]

beeeeeeeeest

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

combo

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

shit

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

I hate you

[trexaur.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA

[okura-chan.livejournal.com]

Personally, I'd go with the praise you get given in college over Deviantart. I mean, I have an account, which isn't especially popular, but popular enough to make me confused. Drawings which I think are rather terrible and shabby somehow get favourited by complete randoms when stuff I think is a whole lot better than my own doesn't. So in other words...your stuff is awesome, don't doubt it and go with the praise you get while managing to stay down to earth. Or something.

Toot your horn in a non-aggressive way. :D *shot*

[gratuity.livejournal.com]

This post echoes my feelings about pursuing musical theater. Mixed feedback is really hard, even if the good feedback is from a more reputable/respected source.

Since I tend to think that art and performing are both pretty self-involved professions with a lot of ego involved, I'll tell you what my first director ever said to me when she told me to audition professionally: grow some balls, but keep them under your skirt because no one wants to see that.

I wish I could offer some good advice, but I think I'm best at hand-holding and sympathizing right now.

The only thing I have to add is HOLYSHIT ELFWOOD that is so junior high to me

[rawowner333.livejournal.com]

You're right, you're very good, just not the best. I've seen pieces of past shows and the pieces were amazing. I'm sorry but i do prefer those over yours. i guess that the program is now in a web design only phase. Seriously, that's like the biggest thing the department has going right now. they're probably one of those people who think that once they get their website up they can be popular, even though their artwork is sub-par.
Well, what do I know? I'm in game design and can't draw, even if my life depended on it.


and it is just scraft.......
(and i think i'm in a similar boat...being i'm the best game design person there...oh well.)

[noelleno.livejournal.com]

Ouch